Escape From the Isolation Chamber

In a quick foray out of my current isolation chamber – I thought that I would give a speedy update.

We moved. The house is old, it has nice character, it just hasn’t been cleaned since, oh, 1953. We’ve got our work cut out for us. The nice thing (I can say this now – I didn’t see anything “nice” about it two weeks ago) is that we don’t own it and we don’t have to ever worry about selling it, so the work that needs done on it is not our problem. I think I may just enjoy renting after all!

The week after we moved we had no phone, no internet, Daniel’s car broke down so he took my van to work each day – therefore, no car, and the kids have been taking their turns in a sickness rotation. So far we have had coughs, fevers, vomiting, and Morgan’s term “lava poop”. Use your imaginations – she has a hand gesture to go along with the term. It’s now my new favorite way to describe diarrhea.

Currently, we have a phone, a vehicle, and are healthy, but alas, we apparently live too “rural” to get internet in any form beyond dial-up and I haven’t yet come to grips with this fact. They want to charge as much for dial-up as DSL and I just cannot do it. Daniel had mercy on me today and got me access to the internet so I could at least check e-mail and update the old blog through a dial-up connection. Alas, it’s hard to go back. We’ll post more later!

The Merciful Edge of Insanity

I haven’t given a moving status update lately – mostly because I’ve been trying to perfect my genetically-acquired state of chronic denial and just not think about it. So here are the past few months in a nutshell:

May: Daniel accepts a job in Neb.

July: Daniel started his job in Neb. Kari left the state of reality and enjoyed a quick vacation.

August: Kari perfects the art of single parenting.

September: End of month the house sold – Yea! Set to close Dec 1st, which seemed way out – too far out when we signed. However, in spite of looking at every home for sale and rent within a 30 mile radius of Daniel’s work, no housing foreseeable for F6w/D (family of six with a dog).

October: No housing possibilities in the horizon for a F6w/D. Kari continues praying with frantic haste.

November: Week one, in an act of desperation we decided to make an offer on a home about 25 miles away from Daniel’s job. However, by the time we got to it there was already an offer on it.

Soon thereafter another foreclosure came available that was big, 4 bed 3 bath, decent sized kitchen, etc. Very affordable, lots of work, but if the market holds (that, of course is something one can not count on in this day and age!) then it should gain pretty good value with some elbow grease and carpet and paint and cabinets, and light fixtures, and countertops . . . you get the point. We offered, they accepted all except changing the date of closing. And unfortunately I felt just sick about it – completely unsettled. Isn’t that sad, I just love a good bargain, would love to have a house to redecorate pretty much from scratch. However, we just felt icky.

Last Friday the papers came back from the bank for us to sign the counter on the house and then it would be ours.

Last Friday Daniel finds out about a 4 bedroom, 2 bath rental on 4 acres, closer to where he works. It also included affordable rent and a great deal of HOPE.

So we decided not to sign on the house (I wish I could erase the memory of it so I don’t compare other homes to the deal that we passed up) and to go with the rental. With the exception of momentary pangs of disbelief at what we passed up, I feel so, so, so much lighter.

I have never had to fast and pray and seek the Spirit as I have through this long, excruciating experience. My testimony of God’s concern and love for His children has been strengthened and I look forward with anticipation (okay, and perhaps a little trepidation when my faith waivers) at what the Lord has in mind for our little F6w/D.

In this past General Conference, Elder Wirthlin’s stated: “The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.” I’m still trying to figure out what part is mine to do, but he followed up later in his talk with this. “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”

It should be an exciting journey!

This "thought" popped up on my igoogle. Loved it:

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone is going to clean them?"

Trying Not to Ralph

So, here’s my dilemma: I have my ballot here in front of me. I’ve researched out the local candidates and issues. I’ve filled the sucker in – but I just cannot do it. I cannot stomach voting for either of the Presidential nominee choices – they both S-U-C-K (sorry, Mom, I know you hate that word – that’s why I spelled it out, so as not to be too offensive). I vote that we clear the slate and re-do Primaries.

To give balance to my previous anti-Obama post. McCain’s health plan has SKUNK written all over it – it reeks. Plus, thus far, I think he’s been an idiot about the economy, which is pretty huge right now. And seriously when push comes to shove Obama is cool, the guy is Crème Brule smooth. If there were a major event in America (as Biden insists there will be) then Obama appears to be a leader who could keep things calm. It’s just too bad about the whole redistribute the wealth thing.

But in the end neither seems to have any idea what the American people want, or even who the average “Joe” is. I would love to know how anyone out there makes this decision – is there some spreadsheet out there that lists the issues and each of their prospective policies on it? Ralph Nader here I come!

Oh, this should so be his selling line, I bet he would win:

VOTE FOR NADER- because the alternatives make you want to RALPH

For the record:

I tried to pretend I was a fun mom today, so I made play-dough from scratch with my littles. Emily held it for a minute, informed me that it smelled gross and refused to touch it again.

Taylor enjoyed sitting on it.

The End

State of the Nation

With the craziness of the economy, frustrations about lack of reasonable choices in politics, and the freaky things I hear that are going on in our nation when listening to Glenn (yep, we're on a first name basis now), I was wondering if this insanity is, well, the beginning of the end in a sense. (Our first socialist President - Yippee! - I hope it's not the beginning of a new beginning. . . )

I came across this quote that was so fitting for today:

"The Lord’s hand is over all, and therein I acknowledge his hand. Not that men are at war, not that nations are trying to destroy nations, not that men are plotting against the liberties of their fellow creatures, not in those respects at all; but God’s hand is not shortened. He will control the results that will follow. He will overrule them in a way that you and I, today, do not comprehend, or do not foresee, for ultimate good."
“Chapter 44: Preparing for the Second Coming of Christ,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, 389

I hope it helps you sleep, as I think it will for me. Nevertheless, I'm still trying to figure out how to make a yard sign that reads: Support Karl Marx - Vote Obama '08. Any suggestions?

Killin' Time

Things have been pretty “killer” for us lately. Last week our sliding glass door got left open for a good hour and a half and our house – kitchen especially – was swarmed (I am not exaggerating here) with flies. I thought I’d been transplanted onto a dairy! Emily came in and said, “It’s killin’ time! Mom where’s the killin’ thing?” Since then, whenever she sees more flies she shouts “We need to do more killin’!” Definitely her father’s daughter.

On Monday Morgan went in to get a mole removed from her side. She called him Mister Squishy, and was tired of the babies following behind her screaming “Squishy” and wanting to push on her mole (it was one of those ones that stick out quite a bit). However, Mister Squishy wouldn’t give up the ghost that easily and the spot kept bleeding and bleeding. I suggested to Morgan the following day, when she came up from bed with her side, PJs, and bedding soaked in blood, that perhaps his new name should be Bloody Mary. She, of course, didn’t think I was as funny as I did.

Well, long story long, I had to take off all the Band-Aids and cotton gauze that I had been trying to absorb the blood with so it wouldn’t ruin her clothes. In the process the gauze pad was so blood soaked that it had coagulated like Jell-o onto it. Then when I got down to the actual sore, even though it was small, it was still pushing up fresh blood. New experience for me, but my stomach turned.

I, always a fan of mind over matter, ignored the tingly dizzy sensation I was beginning to feel and proceeded to put on a new Band-Aid and then new cotton padding to absorb the extra blood. All of the sudden my stomach turned, so I dashed into the bathroom (with much discretion, of course, as to not upset Morgan). Then while in the bathroom I noticed the lights doing weird things and my head feeling a bit woozy.

I, mind over matter again, told myself I was going to be just fine and just needed to get back to my bedroom and lay down for a minute. I left the bathroom, but next thing I know I am “waking up” on the floor in my bedroom doorway, with the memory of the sound of two thuds in my head, wondering why I wasn’t in bed. Result: two killer knots on my forehead – but luckily no bruising. I think I took out the door with my head, but luckily there were no little eyes to witness. So, Linda, count me in, I’m officially a Moss woman now!

Last event, is a product of my killer dog. Emily was outside and she came in and said “There’s a funny boy in Daisy’s kennel. Him talked to me.” I asked what he said and she just made mumbo jumbo noises, so I disregarded it as an imaginary fancy. However, a few minutes later I noticed the neighbor’s dogs going crazy. I assumed it was the meter reader, went to the side to take a look, saw nothing came back in, put Daisy in the house, and then had a feeling I should look again.

Emily proceeded to put Daisy from our house into the garage, which has a door out to the kennel. Long story short, by the time I got back around to the side of the house there was a 250 lb man hanging over the top of our wood paneled fence and Daisy barking with great ferocity underneath him.

Poor man, he was new on the route, not knowing we made the kennel so there was utility access from the outside, went into the kennel and got locked in, then Emily let Daisy in, and well. . . . he was red faced, pouring sweat, and looking like a heart attack waiting to happen. I’m sure he told Emily to go get her mom; it’s too bad that she didn’t pass along that message. She probably let Daisy out and told her, “It's killin’ time!”

The Inside Scoop

I was just going to disband the blog I made for when we were trying to doing the old FSBO with our home. However, before I get rid of it, I thought all you girl's who haven't yet made the trek across the country to visit us would be interested in taking a look. Perhaps I am presumptuous, but I always love looking at other people's homes. The blog itself looks a little dumb because I took all the personally incriminating info off (like address and stuff), as it will now be linked to our personal blog, but you'll get the idea!

THIS IS THE LINK

*** I seem to have failed to mention that we don't actually close on this house until Dec 1st. So we still have quite some time, which at first seemed like too much time, but at this point we (okay me, because I am living in a nice clean house, with my children, and get Daniel's undivided attention and conversation each night on the phone. Daniel's opinion may differ!) are kind of glad because we still need to secure ourselves some housing in good ol' Neb, which is strangely challenging for us at this point ***

SOLD

Yep, our house has finally S-O-L-D! I think I’m really excited . . . I think . . . I don’t really know what to think. The market pretty much stinks so it wasn’t a really exciting sell, (really, I think depressing is a more suitable word) so I keep reminding myself that the whole “under contract” thing IS the exciting part – just forget about the $10K that we’re paying a realtor, right? So now, onward and upward, we get to go look for our next money pit! Oh, the fun times. Have I mentioned that I’m never moving again?

Okay, I may reconsider when a perfect job in Washington or Oregon comes available. Perhaps, though, we can beat our current record of 2.25 years in any one home. Here’s for hope!

Quotes of the . . . past while

Emily was being really noisy while Taylor was sleeping. I told her over and over to be quiet. The third time I told her that if she needed to make noise then she needed to go downstairs to do it. Her response, (hear teen-age attitude here) “Totally, GOSH, MOM.”

Emily to Taylor as they were playing house/doctor and she was putting her to “bed:” “Sweet dreams. Don’t let the bug bites eat you!”

Rylee asking about the first prophet (they were trying to come up with the words to the Primary song “Follow the Prophet” and words sometimes get a bit jumbled for her): “Is it Adam or Even, Mom?”

Freedom

School started again on Wednesday, which is normally a sad day for me. However, this year I have had more than my fair share of uninterrupted time with lots of children.

This doesn’t take a lot of words – two kids at home during the day, both young and easily entertained: CAKE. Life is good!

Birds and Bees

I have been accused, on occasion, of giving too much information to my children about the human anatomy or answering questions with more info than is basically necessary. However, as proof that this is not the case I had a little discussion with Rylee, as she is going back to school and didn’t get the whole “Coming of Age” presentation at school last year. I figured we should talk about basic growing up things and then of course I merged into the boy/girl subject upon which I merely asked a few mildly probing questions, wondering how much she understood. Subtle mother that I am, I did this while working in the kitchen, so as to appear nonchalant and not have all my attention directed toward her. The initial question was greeted with an affronted “MOooOoOM.” The next question was ignored, and by the time I got around to saying the “S” word I turned around and she was no longer in the room. I found her lying on the couch, pillow over her head, crying. Mother of the Year again goes to . . . yep, me.

Well, a couple of weeks later Emily was asking about our bodies the conversation went, roughly, as follows:

Emily: “Mom, who made our bodies?”
Kari: “Well, Jesus gave us our bodies, (Here is me learning from my mistakes – aka. giving too much information) but mom and dad helped make your body.”
Emily: “Mom, who made our bums.”
Kari: “Well, Jesus made us so we have bums (Here is me dropping the afore mentioned subject).”
Emily: “But who made our bums.”
Kari: “Well, mom and Dad made your bum when you were in my tummy.”
Emily: “You made my bum?”
Kari: “Yep, when you were in my tummy.”
Emily: “That disgusting.”

End of conversation.

Mad Libs

I just had to document the latest funnies from Emily. This is more for my own benefit than for public consumption, otherwise I will forget, but read if you’d like.

First, way back when she was having the really hard Sunday and I was trying to bore her into submission, she was screaming and crying and screaming and crying and . . . well you get the point. Meanwhile, I was rocking Taylor and trying to act all nonchalant and calm, and Taylor was kind of humming to herself while we rocked. In the midst of this tantrum, Emily stops cold and yells, “Taylor, stop making dat noise, I cannot cry when you are doing dat.” Cute – she can turn it on and off like a charm.

She was looking in the mirror the other day and said, “I don’t look like Emily.” I said, “Who do you look like?” Straight off the cuff she says “I look like Sassy Girl.” There is so much more truth there than she can even know.

Last, she is our ultra-careful, worry about the safety of everyone, kid. She freaks out if I don’t buckle my seatbelt immediately in the car and when I do I can hear her say quietly to herself, “safe and sound.” Well, she is always getting after Taylor for trying to climb in or out of things because it is “drainerous” (dangerous). So, the other day I got Taylor up from her nap and put her down in the living room and Emily freaked out. The Bigs were downstairs playing Polly pockets and Emily told me no to put Taylor down because, “her will go downstairs and put the pieces in her mouth and choke and then her choke will make her die.” Pretty thorough analysis for a three year old, don’t you think?

Okay, just one more cause it is so cute. I often sing Cookie Monster’s song, “C is for Cookie.” Emily asked me if “L starts with cookie, mom?”

And the award for Mother of the Year goes to . . .

Thank you, Thank you very much!

I’ve let Emily monopolize my posts too much lately. Taylor must have felt inspired by her sister’s antics and coupling that with her mother’s state of distraction lately, well, I’ve earned the award – if not for Mother of the Year, then at least Mother of the Week.

First, on Saturday, Emily and Taylor were playing out in the wading pool. Taylor went into the garage for a little while. When I began to wonder where she was I went to find her. What I found was creamy white drool coming from both sides of her mouth, she was chewing enthusiastically, and in her sweet little innocent hand was a soft, chewy, chicken flavored dog treat. Yum! The unfortunate part here was that the one in her hand was untasted, which means that she had already eaten a whole other one. Gross! Later that night she kept point to her tummy and saying “huuurrrts.”

Just to seal the nomination, tonight we had FHE and I got “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” musical for us to watch afterward. While we were watching, Emily and Taylor went and played upstairs for a while. Just as I sent one of the Bigs up to see what they were up to they came downstairs. Taylor’s head and hair were sopping wet and styled into a faux-hawk (thanks for the terminology Byron) and I was thinking how cute it was that Emily’s already learning to do hair. So I held and kissed on Taylor’s little wet face and snuggled up with her during the movie. Fast forward to post-movie when I go upstairs and see water all around the toilet. I asked Emily if she had an accident, then I accuse her of having an accident. After which she indignantly informs me that it’s not potty, that Taylor was playing in the water. That’s why she was all wet. That was what she styled her hair with. That is why I now only have one question to ask. How many times should a person wash their lips when they have been kissing toilet water on their baby’s face?

Take a Bow

Just thought I would show off my little project for this week. Inspired by a blog spot that Gwen referred me to, http://www.shedoeshair.blogspot.com/, I realized that I am decidedly boring with my girl's hair, as I have never yet made a bow for them. Having four girls I am pretty sure this is a sin of some sort, or at the very least a sign of neglect. So I have made amends and thought I would share the end result with you all:

Just between you and me, the vast quantity is really because I had to justify staying near my stereo, as I had Stephenie Meyer's new book "The Host" on CD. It was 23 hours long and I could rationalize listening all that time if I was being "productive."

Three Year old Theatrics: Epics of the Unaccustomed Single Parent

Scene 1: Church, last Sunday

Story: So, I got the kids to Sacrament, on time mind you, and the Littles (the new general name for Taylor and Emily – since neither claim to be babies anymore) were doing the regular lap hopping. Emily gets up on my lap and, well, was a bid odiferous. As in, it smelled like she had had an accident at some point in the past 12 hours, and being as I do assembly line church prep Sunday morn I would probably not have noticed at that time. Long story short, we left at the rest hymn, drove home, changed undies, threw an extra pair in the van for good measure and zoomed back to church.

The change of routine and weeks off schedule must have thrown the child, who then refused to go to nursery, which she generally loves. So I, brilliant, experienced mother with all the savvy answers thought, “Surely I can bore this child into submission.” I took her (okay, she was actually suction-cupped to my leg like an oversized starfish) with me to my adult Sunday school class, made her sit on a chair quietly and told her whenever she wanted to do something fun like color, play with toys, or eat a snack, that she could do that in Nursery, but that we don’t do that in Mom’s boring class – we just sit here very quietly and still. I did this all very pleasantly, sure that it would work in no time. Emily, however, had different ideas. She engaged Taylor in a rather boisterous, if not ear-splitting, screaming competition. I’m thinking it was a tie, as they both were dragged out of Sunday school exchanging enthusiastic screams.

Needless to say we spent all but the last 30 or so minutes of the remaining church block in the Mother’s lounge, when finally a very inspired nursery leader came and invited Taylor into Nursery and Emily then was glad to go.

Moral: In contests of will and stubbornness children trump parents, especially child number three or more and most assuredly if the child is 3 years old.

Scene 2: Library, last Monday

Story: Our library has a really fun summer reading program. Since we have been attempting to keep our house clean for showings we try to be out of it as much as possible. Each Monday they have Bingo at the library for kids. This week I loaded the kids up and brought them. Emily looked so cute in this little brown skirt that she loves to wear. It wasn’t until half way through the Bingo that her flip-flop fell off her feet and she kept leaning under the table to reach it, wiggling her skirt higher until she was sitting directly on the bench when she said to me – not too quietly “Mom, I forgot my big girls!” I, attempting to look nonchalant, told her to shush, changed the subject and then did a little private recon of my own (don’t mind the pun). Sure enough, no big girls. Also, sure enough, bare bum on library bench – ugggh! Lucky for me the afore mentioned extra pair I had grabbed just the day before was in the van. We put in on while I told her quite firmly that we always wear our big girls, and we sure do not go places without our big girls on. Her response was, “Well not after dis time.”

Moral: Always keep a spare in the car – and I’m not talking tires.

Around the World in 20 Days

In answer to the all consuming question – Yes, we are still here in South Dakota. I am beginning to feel like a pregnant lady in her 41st week, you who have been there understand. Our house is ready to sell, but we seem to be lacking the traffic of people ready/willing to purchase. We tried to FSBO for about 6 weeks and called it quits last week and turned it over to a Realtor. We’ll see how it goes.

Daniel started his new job in Nebraska three weeks ago, so here’s to another bout of the long-distance marriage. Hopefully this won’t be another four month adventure, like last time (author’s fear - could it be longer?!?!?!). Since he was away anyway, we girls decided to take our summer trip to catch up with our far away family. It was a great adventure.

The condensed version is 20 days, 10 states, lots of family, horse back riding, swimming, Menan fireworks, more family, Silverwood (“arms in the air,” Emily: “Mom, remember when you were way up to the sky, and I was waving at you and then I screamed like this ‘(enter loud, high pitched scream here)’. That was me screaming, did you hear me?” Umm, not over my own screams.), vomit (only one out of five – not too bad this year!), Twin Falls temple open house, and over 3,000 miles of driving (let’s not think about the $4.00+/gal gas prices). It was a good time. The kids are really amazing travelers so it was really fun. I could have taken about two more weeks to enjoy each place a bit longer, but reality, the drag that it is, is ever beckoning.

So here we are back in South Dakota, trying to keep everything clean and nice, while fantasizing about heading out on the road again. We are trying to attempt post-vacation recovery with our children, well with Emily really, who I believe was possessed by demons somewhere between Tri-Cities and South Dakota. Probably somewhere in the Wyoming desert – what else is there to do there but posses young children? We’ve been trying to put an end to the whining and screaming bouts – but she’s more stubborn than me so all I have succeeded in getting is a perpetual twitch in my right eye and a tight muscle from cringing whenever I see Emily and Taylor going at it, knowing that the ear splitting scream will shortly follow from one or both of them. Next year I am thinking mild sedation, not for the trip mind you, but for the week following. Again, don’t pass this along to social services, if you please!

Telegraph from the Asylum

Moving to Nebraska STOP Trying to get the house ready to sell STOP Think I’m in over my head STOP Will write later with more information once brain and nervous system begin functioning again STOP

In the Throes of the Threes

Emily is at that age. She passed through the terrible twos, which really wasn’t too terrible most of the time, into one of my most dreaded ages, THE THREES. I was trying to think of a good word that would encompass the three’s. Some days the most fitting would be the “The Thankless Threes,” which could easily be followed by the “Thickheaded Threes,” but I’ve settled on the “Theatrical Threes.” That would cover the sweet-as-can be moments as well as the sudden change in character to a mouthy monster.

That being said, she has been pretty funny lately, because she can now communicate well enough for us to hear the innocent idiosyncrasies that children have as they figure out this world. So here’s the latest on Emily:

She is enthralled with her shadow, she has been calling it her “big.” For example if we are outside she would say “look at my big,” and then get a kick out of having her “big” step on my “big.” However, as most cute language stages go, she realized that the “big” has another name and now calls it her shadow. However, she is still impressed with the size of it, as she noticed the other morning, “Look, look at my shadow. I bigger. I can get Taylor out of the crib.” I quickly discouraged the idea that she was that big – only because she has in fact tried to get Taylor out of the crib. She climbed in and tried to help boost her over the side. Talk about an adrenaline rush for the mom!

An irreverent funny that she did lately was, in attempt to mimic her big sister Rylee who always says “Holy Cow” when something is exciting to her, Emily would shout out “Holy Ghost” instead. The first time I was sure I heard wrong, the second time I was laughing too hard to correct her with any real conviction, and the third time we gave her some alternative words to exclaim – something that is not a member of the Godhead.

And to top it off, she can be downright embarrassing. We have our wonderful adopted-Grandma T. here in our SD ward, who was sitting with us during Sacrament meeting. I look over in time to see Emily pushing on her tummy and then her chest. I had to apologize after the meeting because it was really my fault. Earlier that week she kept squishing my chest when I held her. I had recently quit nursing so I am sure it felt different than it had for the past year. When I asked her what she was doing she said, “I like to feel your feeders.” Again – laughing too hard to correct her and paying for it later!

Celebration Time

We’ve been home schooling Rylee this year which has been fun and also extremely challenging for me. I like to think that the challenge is not because I am have retained less knowledge than a fourth grader, although I am pretty certain there is some truth to that, but rather that I am quite introverted and really like some downtime away from children. With home school I have all morning and part of the afternoon working with Rylee. Any time that she is working on her own it seems there is one or two of the babies that need something. However, in spite of my own personal defects, she has really worked hard and done well this year.

She had to take the state mandated standardized tests these past few weeks, and obsessive compulsive freak that I am, I was concerned that there would be something on there that I hadn’t taught her, which would then make any resulting poor scores my fault. Therefore, we really pushed through the textbooks and were able to completely finish the math book, history, and all but the final chapter in Science before the test. I’ve been so impressed with what a hard worker she is and with her willingness to do lots of work to get through it all. It’s been fun to watch her grasping concepts that were holding her back before and doing really well on her math and reading.

Rylee’s latest quote that made me chuckle was when she wanted to learn how to play the song “Listen to the Still Small Voice” on the piano. She was telling me about it, but called it “Listen to the Still Small Voices.” I was left wondering, is that was a primary song for schizophrenics?

I’ve included some of the pictures from her Birthday for the Grandmas and Pas since they couldn’t be here. She must be growing up, as this year is the first time she requested a store bought cake as opposed to one of my creations.

This last pictures is of Rylee and Morgan and friends at their first concert. We took them to the world renowned “Riders in the Sky.” What do you mean you haven’t heard of them? Oh well, the girls thought it was pretty fun. They even got their tickets autographed!

April Fool's

I set a goal to be fun this year – well for at least one day this year. I wanted to make a tricky April Fool’s Day dinner. Thanks to the Family Fun website I got all sorts of great ideas. Here’s what the meal looked like.

The brown thing that looks like meatloaf was Cocoa Crispy treats with little pieces of fruit roll up and dried pineapple bits, to look like onions and peppers. The bread, which was not very convincing, was angel food cake cooked in a bread pan and sliced. The cupcakes were meatloaf (that way the smell would be consistent with the meal) frosted with colored mashed potatoes. Then I changed out our water pitcher with the colorless Kool-aid and had our Kool-aid pitcher full of water – knowing that they would expect it to be the colorless Kool-aid. I don’t know if anyone was completely fooled, but, mission accomplished, I had fun that day!

Child Speak

Morgan was asked to give a talk in church on Sunday. Our ward is so small that one girl or the other has an assignment at least every other week. The topic for this Sunday is "Jesus lives today and He will come again." When I told her the subject she said, "Well, that's a bit frightening." I queried as to what made it frightening. She responded with, "I don't really KNOW that Jesus lives or that He will come again." We had a little discussion on how she could find out for herself whether this was true, so she could feel confident that she does know it. Afterward, she wanted to write her talk for herself. I thought it was so cute, just the way that she wrote it, that I thought I would share it:

"I belve that Jesus lives and that he will come again and that we will get reserrecedid like he did. He died for us because of are iniquities. I know he will come again. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen."

My favorite part is the word "iniquities." She asked me how it was spelled, saying, "I could have said sins - but iniquities is more descriptive." Man, I love that girl!

Birthday Jamming

I don't know if this will work, and I could never get it rotated so it faced the correct direction, but hopefully you guys can see Taylor enjoying the cacophony - our family's version of a Birthday "song."

Birthday Bonanza

February was Birthday month for the babies (as the youngest two are commonly called around our house). I'm way outdated, but I finally got around to downloading my pics and thought the Grams and Gramps would like to see the big days. Taylor thoroughly enjoyed being the center of attention on her Birthday. We got her on video when we were singing to her and she was jamming and hamming for the camera, but every time I attempt to upload it I lose my entire post and have to start again - so I will try to do it as a different post because it is so fun to watch.

Emily is a big girl, "free" year old. You know the age - "I big, I do it mysewf." For the girls' birthdays, they have picked the design for the cake they have wanted and I have attempted to make it. All Emily wanted was a "Strawberry Cake," which I could never determine if that meant strawberry flavor or in the shape of a strawberry. This is what I came up with and she seemed very excited by it. However, how much of it did she eat? None - not even a bite. When she was served some she told us she doesn't like cake.

This is what she got instead . . . .

Taylor, however, loved the cake. Although, I think she was mortified when she realized the paparazzi was around. Doesn't her frosted face just scream "No camera's, please!"

Outrage Day

I’ve been in a funk lately. I’m sure that is, in part, due to listening to too much Glenn Beck. He’s entertaining, but after a while it seems like the world is going to pot, and as much as he tells people to “wake up,” I feel moderately powerless to do anything about it. Powerlessness is not an encouraging feeling you know.

On our talk radio station here they have “Outrage Day” every Wednesday, where people can call in and tell about the things that disturb to them. Listening to that, I decided it might be somewhat therapeutic to have my own outrage vent session. (The blog is such a nice medium for that, since no one can interrupt you, and whoever is bored by you can just go somewhere else and it’s not even rude.) So here goes, my outrages today (I am limiting it to three):

Presidential Nominees – Need I say more? I don’t have anyone I can vote for without feeling like I’m making a deal with the Devil. Even more, I am really annoyed that the only person that I feel could help our economy, Mitt Romney, pulled out. I am even more upset that the media has the power to make religion into an eligibility requirement for running for office. Furthermore, I am outraged that the American people are ignorant enough to buy it. (Note to self: deep breaths, calm down, move on . . .)

Winter – I know it’s a season, that “this too will pass” and all that, but when it is too cold to go outside for all but 2-3 days in a 2-3 month time span, it is inhumane. Last night they were having a “winter wind-chill warning” where they let us lucky SD’s know that you shouldn’t go outside with exposed skin because it was so cold that you could get frostbite within “5 – 15 minutes.” Nice. I’ve informed Daniel that I realize that adage is to “endure to the end.” We’ll the end is here!

Yarn on Quilts – I know it seems inconsequential, but really, when you go to all the work to make a quilt why throw Raggedy Ann hair on it to tie it together? It rarely looks good when it is brand new, and it gets fuzzier and grosser looking the more it’s used. Yarn and works of art do not mix – and a quilt, be it ever so simple, is a definite art form.

Now that I have purged, I think I can take on another day. I’ll be looking for something light and funny (I’ll hang out with Mo for a while) for the next post, okay? Grandmas and Pas these pics are for you to enjoy!

Desperate Times

(Warning the following blog may contain adult content. The views expressed herein may not be an accurate representation of the views of all members of this or any other related blog)

You know how, in the arrogance of youth, you make fun of, or at least feel immune to, the ailments experienced by those of, shall we say, a more advanced age? Well, a couple of months ago I discovered that I had contracted the dreaded PBFB – otherwise known as Post-Baby Flat Butt. We’ve all seen it, what used to be a nicely rounded, perky bum that sat up parallel to the hips suddenly becomes a long extension of the back which melts into the upper thigh, ledgeless and undefined. I used to say in high school that I could pretty much pick out ladies that have four or more children based upon the shape (or lack thereof) of their hind end. If you don’t know what I am talking about, consider ignorance bliss and disregard this entire lament.

Well, among all the other things that surely would never happen to me (including marrying young, having children before graduating from college, working at Wal-Mart) I passed by the mirror at just the right angle and holy-cow there it was – or wasn’t as the case may be. I am trying to remedy the situation by adding exercise into Rylee and my morning schedule. It’s been going well for about a month and I thought I would share the results. I didn’t include a headshot, because, ummm, I was having a bad hair day. Anyhow, if anyone knows of an anti-PBFB solution I’m all ears. Well, gotta go run my application into Wal-Mart now!

Chilling

For this SD family's bi-monthly (on a good month) update:

Weather -4.4 currently, predicted to be a high of -3 this afternoon. Balmy, huh? I’m trying to remember why we didn’t take the Hawaii job.

Latest family project; grass head guys. This was our family home evening activity this week. Cute, huh? We’ll see if we can get them to grow. Morgan’s is the one with the apron, Rylee’s is the one with the green plaid button-up shirt, Daniel’s is the one with the nose, and mine is Rosa Parks, in commemoration of Martin Luther King Jr. day (is it even PC to say that, or to admit that I ran out of lighter colored nylons? If I get hate mail from this blog then so help me . . .).

Quotes from the last few weeks are, of course, more Morganisms. She watched Ghost Busters with Rylee and some of Rylee’s friends and it put her already active imagination over the top. So now it seems like all she talks about are ghosts and things being scary. At dinner the other night she said:

“Plus, who was the first person to see a monster, because they would be famous.” (I tried to follow this up with an agreement that, yes, in fact they would be famous and it would be very well reported, therefore, since we know nothing about it, then there must not really be monsters. Sorry, Mom, no sell for logical reasoning when monsters are concerned.)

“If there are no ghosts, why do we even have the word ghost?” (Ummmm, any help here?)

Then finally yesterday, after days of arguing about going downstairs (where her new bedroom is), or into the garage, or outside alone, she finally said to me, “I’ve gotten over the whole fear of ghosts thing.” And then after a brief pause she said, “Well, mostly,” with a little giggle. I sure love that silly girl!

And as a grand finale, she was reading a book that had a picture of a young adult woman painting her nails and primping and Morgan said she must be a “college girl.” I asked her why she would be a college girl. She said, “Some college girls think they have to be fancy - - just to get a boyfriend.” And to think that it took me until I went to Ricks to figure that one out!

Proof

Just thought I would share proof that I am not exagerating about the frigid cold weather we have been having. This was the view out my kitchen window last week:

It's really pretty, but I don't want to go out in it. Of course, there's nothing like a view like this to make a person grateful to have a nice warm house, hot water, and plenty of clothes. It also makes one think of those poor first settlers in this area who came for cheap land in the hot summer and probably couldn't fathom this in the winter. Its a good thing we live in the time and place that we do because if I had to be one of those frontier women and endure a cold like this living in a sod hut I'd surely die - or wish I had!

Christmas Reverie

Life has been so crazy-busy lately that it seems that December just passed us by without us really getting to savor it. Here’s the condensed update, in picture form:

Daniel wanted us to build gingerbread houses (okay, they are graham cracker, but don't tell my mom. She used to make the real thing when she was at this stage in her life. However, just thinking about attempting to make the real thing just about brings me to tears at this point in my life.). We made a little village. In case you're curious Rylee's is in front, Morgan's is next, Daniel's has the wrap around covered porch and gazebo, and I made the outhouse in the very back. It was good fun. We thought we should introduce the girls to Daniel's and my old tradition of taking the gingerbread house out for b.b. gun target practice when we were done (yes, the house becomes the target). However, the sub-zero weather discouraged any thought of foul play. They instead went, stripped of their candy but otherwise unmolested, into the garbage can.
Taylor loved the Christmas tree and Christmas presents. She unwrapped the same three presents over and over, day after day through December. I would just tape them back up again and let her at it. Typical baby, she loved the tearing of the wrapping more than the gift itself.

Cheese! We sure love our girls.

Santa spoiled us this year. Here's the stockings all set out on Christmas morning. We spent our second Christmas here in SD with just our little family and we really enjoyed it. We had been so busy the rest of the month, so it was nice just to have a few days with no obligations at all. We were able to stay home, play with toys and games, and relax. In spite of missing our far away family, it was a great break.