And the award for Mother of the Year goes to . . .

Thank you, Thank you very much!

I’ve let Emily monopolize my posts too much lately. Taylor must have felt inspired by her sister’s antics and coupling that with her mother’s state of distraction lately, well, I’ve earned the award – if not for Mother of the Year, then at least Mother of the Week.

First, on Saturday, Emily and Taylor were playing out in the wading pool. Taylor went into the garage for a little while. When I began to wonder where she was I went to find her. What I found was creamy white drool coming from both sides of her mouth, she was chewing enthusiastically, and in her sweet little innocent hand was a soft, chewy, chicken flavored dog treat. Yum! The unfortunate part here was that the one in her hand was untasted, which means that she had already eaten a whole other one. Gross! Later that night she kept point to her tummy and saying “huuurrrts.”

Just to seal the nomination, tonight we had FHE and I got “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” musical for us to watch afterward. While we were watching, Emily and Taylor went and played upstairs for a while. Just as I sent one of the Bigs up to see what they were up to they came downstairs. Taylor’s head and hair were sopping wet and styled into a faux-hawk (thanks for the terminology Byron) and I was thinking how cute it was that Emily’s already learning to do hair. So I held and kissed on Taylor’s little wet face and snuggled up with her during the movie. Fast forward to post-movie when I go upstairs and see water all around the toilet. I asked Emily if she had an accident, then I accuse her of having an accident. After which she indignantly informs me that it’s not potty, that Taylor was playing in the water. That’s why she was all wet. That was what she styled her hair with. That is why I now only have one question to ask. How many times should a person wash their lips when they have been kissing toilet water on their baby’s face?

Take a Bow

Just thought I would show off my little project for this week. Inspired by a blog spot that Gwen referred me to, http://www.shedoeshair.blogspot.com/, I realized that I am decidedly boring with my girl's hair, as I have never yet made a bow for them. Having four girls I am pretty sure this is a sin of some sort, or at the very least a sign of neglect. So I have made amends and thought I would share the end result with you all:

Just between you and me, the vast quantity is really because I had to justify staying near my stereo, as I had Stephenie Meyer's new book "The Host" on CD. It was 23 hours long and I could rationalize listening all that time if I was being "productive."

Three Year old Theatrics: Epics of the Unaccustomed Single Parent

Scene 1: Church, last Sunday

Story: So, I got the kids to Sacrament, on time mind you, and the Littles (the new general name for Taylor and Emily – since neither claim to be babies anymore) were doing the regular lap hopping. Emily gets up on my lap and, well, was a bid odiferous. As in, it smelled like she had had an accident at some point in the past 12 hours, and being as I do assembly line church prep Sunday morn I would probably not have noticed at that time. Long story short, we left at the rest hymn, drove home, changed undies, threw an extra pair in the van for good measure and zoomed back to church.

The change of routine and weeks off schedule must have thrown the child, who then refused to go to nursery, which she generally loves. So I, brilliant, experienced mother with all the savvy answers thought, “Surely I can bore this child into submission.” I took her (okay, she was actually suction-cupped to my leg like an oversized starfish) with me to my adult Sunday school class, made her sit on a chair quietly and told her whenever she wanted to do something fun like color, play with toys, or eat a snack, that she could do that in Nursery, but that we don’t do that in Mom’s boring class – we just sit here very quietly and still. I did this all very pleasantly, sure that it would work in no time. Emily, however, had different ideas. She engaged Taylor in a rather boisterous, if not ear-splitting, screaming competition. I’m thinking it was a tie, as they both were dragged out of Sunday school exchanging enthusiastic screams.

Needless to say we spent all but the last 30 or so minutes of the remaining church block in the Mother’s lounge, when finally a very inspired nursery leader came and invited Taylor into Nursery and Emily then was glad to go.

Moral: In contests of will and stubbornness children trump parents, especially child number three or more and most assuredly if the child is 3 years old.

Scene 2: Library, last Monday

Story: Our library has a really fun summer reading program. Since we have been attempting to keep our house clean for showings we try to be out of it as much as possible. Each Monday they have Bingo at the library for kids. This week I loaded the kids up and brought them. Emily looked so cute in this little brown skirt that she loves to wear. It wasn’t until half way through the Bingo that her flip-flop fell off her feet and she kept leaning under the table to reach it, wiggling her skirt higher until she was sitting directly on the bench when she said to me – not too quietly “Mom, I forgot my big girls!” I, attempting to look nonchalant, told her to shush, changed the subject and then did a little private recon of my own (don’t mind the pun). Sure enough, no big girls. Also, sure enough, bare bum on library bench – ugggh! Lucky for me the afore mentioned extra pair I had grabbed just the day before was in the van. We put in on while I told her quite firmly that we always wear our big girls, and we sure do not go places without our big girls on. Her response was, “Well not after dis time.”

Moral: Always keep a spare in the car – and I’m not talking tires.

Around the World in 20 Days

In answer to the all consuming question – Yes, we are still here in South Dakota. I am beginning to feel like a pregnant lady in her 41st week, you who have been there understand. Our house is ready to sell, but we seem to be lacking the traffic of people ready/willing to purchase. We tried to FSBO for about 6 weeks and called it quits last week and turned it over to a Realtor. We’ll see how it goes.

Daniel started his new job in Nebraska three weeks ago, so here’s to another bout of the long-distance marriage. Hopefully this won’t be another four month adventure, like last time (author’s fear - could it be longer?!?!?!). Since he was away anyway, we girls decided to take our summer trip to catch up with our far away family. It was a great adventure.

The condensed version is 20 days, 10 states, lots of family, horse back riding, swimming, Menan fireworks, more family, Silverwood (“arms in the air,” Emily: “Mom, remember when you were way up to the sky, and I was waving at you and then I screamed like this ‘(enter loud, high pitched scream here)’. That was me screaming, did you hear me?” Umm, not over my own screams.), vomit (only one out of five – not too bad this year!), Twin Falls temple open house, and over 3,000 miles of driving (let’s not think about the $4.00+/gal gas prices). It was a good time. The kids are really amazing travelers so it was really fun. I could have taken about two more weeks to enjoy each place a bit longer, but reality, the drag that it is, is ever beckoning.

So here we are back in South Dakota, trying to keep everything clean and nice, while fantasizing about heading out on the road again. We are trying to attempt post-vacation recovery with our children, well with Emily really, who I believe was possessed by demons somewhere between Tri-Cities and South Dakota. Probably somewhere in the Wyoming desert – what else is there to do there but posses young children? We’ve been trying to put an end to the whining and screaming bouts – but she’s more stubborn than me so all I have succeeded in getting is a perpetual twitch in my right eye and a tight muscle from cringing whenever I see Emily and Taylor going at it, knowing that the ear splitting scream will shortly follow from one or both of them. Next year I am thinking mild sedation, not for the trip mind you, but for the week following. Again, don’t pass this along to social services, if you please!