Midlife Baggage

When I was a younger, prouder woman I vehemently proclaimed that I was going to be done with childbearing by the time I was thirty and was NOT going to be one of those ladies that took her newborn to her high school child’s games and activities. I’m not too much over the thirty deadline, but being in a foreign land (even if it is the same country), it is evident that gestation and being a parent of a middle schooler here is the equivalent of being the pregnant mother of a high schooler in, say, Idaho.

I went to the middle school open house with Rylee and was the only obviously pregnant parent (there were two toddlers in strollers, however). I was suddenly very homesick for Idaho if only because I have too much pride, and it would have felt a bit less awkward not to be the ONLY one.

Today they had a Morning Coffee at the Middle School. Not knowing what a Morning Coffee is, I assumed it was like a quick PTA meeting where they bribe you with coffee and donuts to be there at 7:00 am. So I got up early, got all four girls ready and headed out the door at 6:45 so I wouldn’t have to walk in late.

Again, stranger in a foreign land, apparently a Morning Coffee is actually just coffee and donuts in the library where the parents of middle school kids can mingle. If I wasn’t socially awkward and if I, in fact, knew more than three people in this town, mingling might sound fun.

(Irrelevant side note/Ryleeism: Rylee seemed excited about me going and told me that one of her teacher’s said “There might be juice if you don’t drink water.” Hmmmm. I love that girl’s jumbled little mind! For the record, as a double side note, there was not juice, but there were drinking fountains, for those who don’t drink coffee.)

As it was, I was trying to think of a polite way to leave within 3 minutes of realizing that it was not a meeting, but rather a social gathering. Especially since the early arrivers were all very nicely dressed and put together, by appearance, working (outside-the-home) parents. I myself was pretty proud to have been showered and dressed, with hair done and make-up on by 7:00 am – not to mention having done hair for 4 girls as well (thanks Daniel for making sure they were dressed and fed!).

In the end I did attempt to mingle a little, and had to laugh when the three new people I met looked at my bulging abdomen and said something along the lines of, “And your 6th grader must be your oldest.” I almost wanted to say that I have a freshman at the high school as well, just to see the eyebrows go higher.

Really, though, in their defense, people were very nice and it was refreshing to realize that there is a world out there beyond the cornfields that surround my house. Wondering what people might think is, of course, just my own baggage that I will have to let go – because if I don’t, I’ve seen what the Lord can do to humble a proud woman – hello baby number six in Rylee’s Junior year of High School. Augghhghgh!

Speaking of baggage, Morgan yesterday picked something up that I dropped on the ground and said, “Don’t worry mom, I’ll get it. I know it’s hard for you to bend . . . you’ve got too much luggage.” She then gave me a very pleased smile and proceeded to pat her luggage-less tummy in an all knowing way. No wonder I’m getting so heavy, I’m carrying it around on both the inside and out!