Three Year old Theatrics: Epics of the Unaccustomed Single Parent

Scene 1: Church, last Sunday

Story: So, I got the kids to Sacrament, on time mind you, and the Littles (the new general name for Taylor and Emily – since neither claim to be babies anymore) were doing the regular lap hopping. Emily gets up on my lap and, well, was a bid odiferous. As in, it smelled like she had had an accident at some point in the past 12 hours, and being as I do assembly line church prep Sunday morn I would probably not have noticed at that time. Long story short, we left at the rest hymn, drove home, changed undies, threw an extra pair in the van for good measure and zoomed back to church.

The change of routine and weeks off schedule must have thrown the child, who then refused to go to nursery, which she generally loves. So I, brilliant, experienced mother with all the savvy answers thought, “Surely I can bore this child into submission.” I took her (okay, she was actually suction-cupped to my leg like an oversized starfish) with me to my adult Sunday school class, made her sit on a chair quietly and told her whenever she wanted to do something fun like color, play with toys, or eat a snack, that she could do that in Nursery, but that we don’t do that in Mom’s boring class – we just sit here very quietly and still. I did this all very pleasantly, sure that it would work in no time. Emily, however, had different ideas. She engaged Taylor in a rather boisterous, if not ear-splitting, screaming competition. I’m thinking it was a tie, as they both were dragged out of Sunday school exchanging enthusiastic screams.

Needless to say we spent all but the last 30 or so minutes of the remaining church block in the Mother’s lounge, when finally a very inspired nursery leader came and invited Taylor into Nursery and Emily then was glad to go.

Moral: In contests of will and stubbornness children trump parents, especially child number three or more and most assuredly if the child is 3 years old.

Scene 2: Library, last Monday

Story: Our library has a really fun summer reading program. Since we have been attempting to keep our house clean for showings we try to be out of it as much as possible. Each Monday they have Bingo at the library for kids. This week I loaded the kids up and brought them. Emily looked so cute in this little brown skirt that she loves to wear. It wasn’t until half way through the Bingo that her flip-flop fell off her feet and she kept leaning under the table to reach it, wiggling her skirt higher until she was sitting directly on the bench when she said to me – not too quietly “Mom, I forgot my big girls!” I, attempting to look nonchalant, told her to shush, changed the subject and then did a little private recon of my own (don’t mind the pun). Sure enough, no big girls. Also, sure enough, bare bum on library bench – ugggh! Lucky for me the afore mentioned extra pair I had grabbed just the day before was in the van. We put in on while I told her quite firmly that we always wear our big girls, and we sure do not go places without our big girls on. Her response was, “Well not after dis time.”

Moral: Always keep a spare in the car – and I’m not talking tires.