No “Wiggly Thing” Envy Here

Being in an all girl household, excluding, of course, the very modest father, my little girls haven’t been exposed to the male/female differences. (Where is Golly when you need him?) When back in Washington last month for my brother’s wedding Em and Taylor had a bath with their 1 year old male cousin.

When he got in the bath Emily stopped in her tracks, got a funny expression on and said “What’s dat?” I proceeded to explain that that is how boys go potty, etc. She scrunched up her nose and responded with “Dat’s weird!” I know, it really is.

So last week we decided to start potty training Taylor. The most effective method I’ve found is to have a bare bum the first few days so they can figure out the sensation with instant result – as in, this feeling means I’ve got to get to the potty or my socks are going to be very wet. Gross, but effective (segue: I swear by the product “Kids and Pets” for getting any and all odors out of carpet!).

So Taylor’s bare and Emily asks “Why her has a bum in da front?” I explained that’s the way Heavenly Father made girls. So she asks if that’s what Rylee, Morgan, her and I have. Then the conversation went as follows:
Emily: “But not Dad. Does him have a wiggly thing?” (Note: I did give her proper terminology at initial exposure.)
Kari: “Um, yep,”
Emily: “Why?”
Kari: “He’s a boy and that’s the way Heavenly Father made boys.”
Emily: “But WE don’t have a wiggly thing?”
Kari: “Nope”
Emily: Double hand pump in the air leaping for joy, “Wahoo!!!”

So, sorry Freud, another one of your sick-o theories proved wrong. Little girls certainly don’t suffer from “wiggly thing” envy around here!

Making Peace

Last week at this time I was sitting in my driveway reading Family Fun watching my two littles ride their bikes with 51 degrees of sunshine beating down upon me. After living in SD for two years 51 degrees in January is very WOW! (Pretty sure that’s May weather there, right Teresa?) I thought then that perhaps Neb and I might get along. We may be able to be friends and someday, perhaps, we might feel like close relations, maybe close enough to call HOME. But, the next day it snowed as it has been since and although not completely disenfranchised, the warm feelings have warn off.

On the other hand, miracles do happen. Yes, even here in ol’ Neb. I was able to get in touch with my old boyfriend. “Oh yeaaaahh”, Glenn is back in my life. I found him, and he’s coming in loud and clear. They only play 2 of his three hours here, but we take what we can get

On that note, last night we had some people from our branch over for dinner and FHE and the lady asked Daniel if anyone ever told him he looked like Glenn Beck. I about fell out of my seat! How convenient is that, my Husband looks like my Boyfriend! Totally cosmic! They had just seen him (Glenn) on tour for “The Christmas Sweater” and had him autograph a book for them and for another guy in our branch who is supposedly in love with him as well. Do you think it’s inappropriate to tell that man’s wife that her husband and I are in love with the same man?

Just so the truth is in writing for the world to see - Daniel rocks the world, sorry Glenn, I may profess my love in fun, but there's really no competition!

Just Sqeaky - Not so Clean

After finding mouse poop in Taylor’s PJ drawer, a dead mouse in the basement (Thank You inventor of the wonderfully gross and inhumanely effective sticky trap!) and waking up to one chewing and clawing on the other side of our bedroom wall at night, I have officially determined that perhaps the term “squeaky clean” is an oxymoron.

Escape From the Isolation Chamber

In a quick foray out of my current isolation chamber – I thought that I would give a speedy update.

We moved. The house is old, it has nice character, it just hasn’t been cleaned since, oh, 1953. We’ve got our work cut out for us. The nice thing (I can say this now – I didn’t see anything “nice” about it two weeks ago) is that we don’t own it and we don’t have to ever worry about selling it, so the work that needs done on it is not our problem. I think I may just enjoy renting after all!

The week after we moved we had no phone, no internet, Daniel’s car broke down so he took my van to work each day – therefore, no car, and the kids have been taking their turns in a sickness rotation. So far we have had coughs, fevers, vomiting, and Morgan’s term “lava poop”. Use your imaginations – she has a hand gesture to go along with the term. It’s now my new favorite way to describe diarrhea.

Currently, we have a phone, a vehicle, and are healthy, but alas, we apparently live too “rural” to get internet in any form beyond dial-up and I haven’t yet come to grips with this fact. They want to charge as much for dial-up as DSL and I just cannot do it. Daniel had mercy on me today and got me access to the internet so I could at least check e-mail and update the old blog through a dial-up connection. Alas, it’s hard to go back. We’ll post more later!

The Merciful Edge of Insanity

I haven’t given a moving status update lately – mostly because I’ve been trying to perfect my genetically-acquired state of chronic denial and just not think about it. So here are the past few months in a nutshell:

May: Daniel accepts a job in Neb.

July: Daniel started his job in Neb. Kari left the state of reality and enjoyed a quick vacation.

August: Kari perfects the art of single parenting.

September: End of month the house sold – Yea! Set to close Dec 1st, which seemed way out – too far out when we signed. However, in spite of looking at every home for sale and rent within a 30 mile radius of Daniel’s work, no housing foreseeable for F6w/D (family of six with a dog).

October: No housing possibilities in the horizon for a F6w/D. Kari continues praying with frantic haste.

November: Week one, in an act of desperation we decided to make an offer on a home about 25 miles away from Daniel’s job. However, by the time we got to it there was already an offer on it.

Soon thereafter another foreclosure came available that was big, 4 bed 3 bath, decent sized kitchen, etc. Very affordable, lots of work, but if the market holds (that, of course is something one can not count on in this day and age!) then it should gain pretty good value with some elbow grease and carpet and paint and cabinets, and light fixtures, and countertops . . . you get the point. We offered, they accepted all except changing the date of closing. And unfortunately I felt just sick about it – completely unsettled. Isn’t that sad, I just love a good bargain, would love to have a house to redecorate pretty much from scratch. However, we just felt icky.

Last Friday the papers came back from the bank for us to sign the counter on the house and then it would be ours.

Last Friday Daniel finds out about a 4 bedroom, 2 bath rental on 4 acres, closer to where he works. It also included affordable rent and a great deal of HOPE.

So we decided not to sign on the house (I wish I could erase the memory of it so I don’t compare other homes to the deal that we passed up) and to go with the rental. With the exception of momentary pangs of disbelief at what we passed up, I feel so, so, so much lighter.

I have never had to fast and pray and seek the Spirit as I have through this long, excruciating experience. My testimony of God’s concern and love for His children has been strengthened and I look forward with anticipation (okay, and perhaps a little trepidation when my faith waivers) at what the Lord has in mind for our little F6w/D.

In this past General Conference, Elder Wirthlin’s stated: “The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.” I’m still trying to figure out what part is mine to do, but he followed up later in his talk with this. “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”

It should be an exciting journey!